Transcriptions of song selections referred to in the paper by Prof. James Leary, University of Wisconsin-Madison.
Click here to access the song selections.
Click here to read Jim Leary’s paper, “Dialect Songs Among the Dutch.” (In PDF format.)
“Jump Fritz, I Feed You Liver”
[Abridged]
There’s a German that I know
Who owns a dog named Fritz
And he’s always teaching him
To do all kinds of tricks
I live right above him
And when I’m in my room
Here’s what I hear him yelling
Each morning, night, and noon
Jump Fritz, I feed you liver
Jump Fritz, now don’t you shiver
One two three four five six seven
Me oh my, I never…
Jump Fritz, ah that a boy, show me you’re clever
Else you go right in the river…
Do it… Jump Fritz, I feed you liver…
If you do these tricks all right
Then you won’t have no sorrow
But if you don’t do it
You’ll be sausages tomorrow
Jump Fritz, ah, show me you’re clever
Else you go right in the river…
[laughter, then spoken] Oh my, golly, such a smart dog,
Come here, Fritz
When Der Fuehrer says, “We ist der master race”
We HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in Der Fuehrer’s face
Not to love Der Fuehrer is a great disgrace
So we HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in Der Fuehrer’s face
When Herr Göbbels says, “We own der world und space”
We HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in Herr Göring’s face
When Herr Göring says they’ll never bomb this place
We HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in Herr Göring’s face
Are we not the supermen
Aryan pure supermen
Ja we ist der supermen
Super-duper supermen.
Ist this Nutzi land not good?
Would you leave it if you could?
Ja this Nutzi land is good!
Vee would leave it if we could
We bring the world to order
Heil Hitler’s new world order
Everyone of foreign race will love der Fuehrer’s face
When we bring to der world disorder
When der Fuehrer says, “We ist der master race”
We HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in der Fuehrer’s face
When Der Fuehrer says, “We ist der master race”
We HEIL! (phhht!) HEIL! (phhht!) Right in der Fuhrer’s face
[Iinformation on the Disney cartoon that featured this song may be found here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Der_Fuehrer’s_Face]
Now Katryn, my darling, come sit by my side
I’ll tell you somethin’ that open your eyes wide
I love you so much I can’t tell you how
And I’s goin’ to ask you, “Won’t you be my frau?”
“Oh, shame yourself Scharlie, don’t speak out like that.
Although ist was fine what you say.
I love you mit all mit the love what I got
And I’ll be your frau right away.”
Yah, yah, ain’t dat been fine.
Katryn she told me she’s goin’ to be mine.
Yah, yah, ain’t dat been fine.
Scharlie, he’s told me he’s goin’ to be mine.
Now when we get married won’t we put on style?
We’ll chump on the streetcar and ride all the while.
We got plenty of sauerkraut always on hand,
And live chust as good as der king of der land.
Den I get some dresses what schtick out behind
And drag about a yard in der schtreet.
And a nice liddle hat, chust the best I can find.
Oh, Scharlie, den von’t I look schweet?
Yah, yah, ain’t dat been fine.
Katryn she told me she’s goin’ to be mine.
Yah, yah, ain’t dat been fine.
Scharlie, he’s told me he’s goin’ to be mine.
“They Say I’m a Dutchman (And Ain’t Got No Schtyle)”
[Abridged]
There ist a girl in our haus
She’s Irish but das macht nichts aus
She’s got a pair of pretty eyes
But all she sees is udder guys
I love dis girl, I tell her so
She says I’m nothing but a schmo
Sometimes I get so wery sad
Und udder times I’m awfully mad
Ja, I like the American girls all the vile
But they say I’m a Dutchman
And ain’t got no schtyle
I like the American girls all the vile
But they say I’m Dutchman
And ain’t got no schtyle
One day I called this girl a qveen
Und she laughed and said that I was green.
I am to her so wery gut
I’d like to kiss her little schnoot
But she never kisses me at all
Und I get mad Donnerwetter noch mal
And though I like the American girls all the vile
I hate the American big bug schtyle
Ja, I like the American girls all the vile
But they say I’m a Dutchman
And ain’t got no schtyle
I like the American girls all the vile
But they say I’m Dutchman
And ain’t got no schtyle
“I Feel Myself Here (Dat’s Vat I Learned in Mein Schul)”
[Abridged]
…Dat’s vat I learned in der Schul
Oh, I feel myself here, oh vas ist das here?
Das ist mein bullshitter, yes darling dear.
Oh, bullshitter, soup shtrainer, schnotblower
Eyeblinken, brow-schwitzen
Donnerwetter noch mal
Dat’s vat I learned in mein Schul…
“A Little Dutch Soldier Came Down from the Rhine/Snap-poo”
[Abridged]
Caution! Vorsicht!
The lyrics to this song contain strong language and adult situations.
Click here if you wish to continue to view the lyrics.
“Elsie Schultzenheim”
[Abridged]
If you see eyes big und round
One is black und one is brown
Dat’s my Elsie Schultzenheim
If she’s gittin’[?] down the street
Und you notice two left feet
Dat’s my Elsie Schultzenheim
She woiks for the doctor
She makes money thick
She stands right outside his door
To make people sick
Curly teet’ are in her mout’
One points nordt und one points sout’
Dat’s my Elsie Schultzenheim
“We Left Our Wives at Home”
[Abridged]
We left our Fraus at home
We left our Fraus at home
We left our Fraus to milk all our cows
Oh, that’s why we’re here alone
We’re here for a very good time
We’re here for a very good time
We left our Fraus to milk all our cows
Oh, that’s why we’re here alone
“Little German Ball”
[Abridged]
…on Saturday night
There’s always a wonderful crowd
The band plays the polkas und waltzes just right
It ain’t just the best but it’s loud
The people they kommen from near und from far
The short und the fat und the tall
Everyone’s happy und everyone’s gay at the little German ball
…
Schnitzels und pretzels und viskey und beer complete with a [bump?] for a dime
Dancing all night to the musik we hear
Having a whale of a time
Pick out a Fräulein und join in the fun
Twirl her around the hall
Dancing und singing und jumping for joy
At the little German ball
The pretzels are soggy
The beer flows like wine
After sixteen small bottles
The band sounds just fine
They laugh and they dance
And they have a good time
Doin’ the Milwaukee Waltz
Round and round and round they go
Over the floor and down they go
Round and round and round they go
Doin’ the Milwaukee Waltz
The trumpets are off-key
The tuba is loud
The banjo is lousy
Ach, look at the crowd
They pay half a dollar
To come in und dance
Then do the Milwaukee Waltz
Down by the Pickle Works (Part 1)
“Oh chee, schmell da Pickle Works!”
“Vere ist da Pickle Works?”
“Rrrright over dere, see it?”
“Is dat vas dat is?”
“Ches. I usta had a good chob there, too, also.”
“You worked in da Pickle Works? Vat doing?
“Ha ha ha ha. I usta bite da pickles und see how chewsy dey vas.”
“Ah, listen you. I asked you a civilized question. Now answer me. What did you did?”
“Vell Herr Louie, it vas dis vay. I vas in all of da branches of da Works.”
“You don’t zo say?”
“Ches! I vas in da schmall pickle section. You see, I handled the little inch ‘n’ half pickles, und before I packed ‘em, I had to measure each pickle.”
“Hey hey hey, vat are you trrrying to do? Tell me that you gotta use da rrruler on da pickles first?”
“No, I didn’t haf no ruler. Dey had little holes cut in da bench. Und all of da pickles dat schlipped through vas mine. You see, every man had certain size pickles to pack.”
“Oh, I see! You vas a schmall man, so you got schmall pickles to pack, huh?”
“Ches…no, no, Herr Louie! Listen vunce und I tell you about da whole business.”
“Ja, ja, go ahead.”
“In da schpring time, I help plant da pickles. Den ven da pickles vas rrripe, I help pick ‘em by da peck, und for da finish I pickled und packed ‘em.”
“Ja, vell, now how did dey pay for dis kinda verk Weaselis?”
“Vell, for different tings I vas paid different prices. For planting da pickles I got paid zo much vages a day. Den ven da pickles vas rrripe, I got paid zo much a peck for picking ‘em.”
“Ja, dat zounds very good, Weaselis, go ahead.”
“Den ven dey vas all picked, I got paid so much each a piece for pickling und packing da pickles.”
“Oh, now I commence to schtart to see it. Dey paid you zo much for planting, und den ven dey vas rrripe, zo much a peck for picking ‘em, und den zo much for pickling und packing ‘em, ist das rrright?”
“Exactly.”
“But tell me dis: How das da vages for planting und picking da pickles schtand up to da vages for pickling und packing da pickles?”
“Vell, for pickling und packeling da pickles ve got paid piece verk, in udder vords, zo much each a piece for a pickle ve vould pack.”
“Ohh, den you hadda schlice ‘em, huh?”
“Ches…no, no, Herr Louie!”
“But didn’t you chust tell me dat you vas gettin’ paid zo much for each piece uff pickle dat you picked by da peck?”
“Ach, Himmel, no! How could dey pay me for each piece of pickle if I vasn’t picking enough pieces to pickle und pack by da peck if I hadda…”
“Schtop, schtop, schtop um Himmels willen, schtop! Now drrrop da pickels, und let’s get avay from here. Ve play a tune, nummer fünfundzwanzig, “Du bist verrückt mein Kind.”
“Me too?”
“Ja, you, too! Hurry now, eins, zwei, drei, Spiel…”
Down by the Pickle Works (Part 2)
Weasel: Zo you don’t think you’d like to be in the pickle business, huh, Herr Louie?
Herr Louie: No. Und I don’t vant to hear not vun more vord about it.
W: Vell, py golly, dere’s more money in da pickle business dan dere iss in da muzik business.
HL: Ach! Vhat kind uff talk is dat?
W: Vell, it’s da trut’. Ven I t’ink of da money I used to made in da pickle business, und den look at da hard times I got now vid da band, I
don’t know vhy I never schtayed mit da pickles.
HL: Oh you don’t, huh? Vell, dat’s too bad dat you didn’t. Now listen! Let me tell you somezing. Da rrreason ve have da hard times mit da band is because dere is too much ascension in da ground [a deliberately confusing phrase, perhaps employed because it sounds like “dissension in the crowd”].
W: Vell, you gotta exschplain dat to me, Herr Louie, I don’t underschtand vhat you’re talking about.
HL: I mean chust exactly vhat did I say, huh?
W: Dat’s vhat I vould like to know.
HL: Hör mal zu! [Listen up!] Vhat ve got to do is hang together. But not all pull in da opposite directions.
W: Dat’s vhat I say. Ve need more cooperation.
HL: You betcha ve do. Vhy look vhat Sousa did vhen he don’t even know vun pickle from another.
W: Vell, vhat did Sousa did?
HL: Vhat did he did?
W: Chess.
HL: He schtuck to da muzik. And dat’s vhat ve are going to do. Ve got da opportunity rrright in da middle of da palm of da hands.W: Dat’s right too. Ve got a vonderful schance for da muzik. But on da other hand, look vhat Heinz did.
HL: Heinz? Vhich Heinz is dat?
W: Da one mit da 57 pickle factory. Py golly, he satisfies more peoples everyday dan Sousa does.
HL: Vell vhy vouldn’t he?
W: Vhy?
HL: Ja, sure, look at da factories he’s got. Und den look at Sousa. He’s got only chust one band.
W: Dat’s chust vhat I said. Da people like good things to eat, Herr Louie.
HL: Und so do dey like good muzik.
W: Sure, but dey can’t eat muzik?
HL: Dey don’t have to! Dat’s vhy dey got all da factories making da schtuff to eat for.
W: Vell vhy don’t dey have factories making muzik?
HL: Vhy don’t dey have factories making muzik?
W: Chess, vhy?
HL: (tongue-tied and exasperated) Vell, how did . . . dey don’t have . . . now how in da vorld? Ach! Himmel! Such a ask!
W: (laughing) Chee vhiz, I guess dat t’rows a different light on da pickles again, don’t it?
HL: You’rrre a absolute disgrrrace! Now, up mit da instruments und ve get out uff here. Ve spiel [play] da “Schnapps March.” Zusammen–spiel! [All together–play!]
You say you don’t like Illinois
Try to keep us where we are
We’re really such a friendly state
So we hop into our cars
And we drive across your border
Pick up women big and heavy
And beat up men with big foreheads like bumpers from a Chevy
Hey there polka boy go home and suck a beer
Hey there bratwurst-head, go drive your old John Deere
Ja hey the women all weigh
The smell will make you cry
Hey dere, ho dere ja hey hey
Stay in Milwaukee and die
Ja, hey dere, ho dere, ja hey hey
Stay in Milwaukee and die…
When da boys start drinking on a Saturday night
Get a little rowdy, looking for a fight
Trow some little creep down on da floor
And we’re gonna have a dutch pile
Saw a pretty lady, grabbed her in da ass
Her boyfriend said “You ain’t got no class”
Took a swing at me so I trew him on da ground
We’re gonna have a dutch pile
Dutch pile…dutch pile
Ain’t had one in awhile
I like to drink beer and wrestle wit da boys
Now we’re gonna have a dutch pile
Way back when I was just a boy
My little brudder used to steal my toys
Trow dat rotten kid down on da floor
We’re gonna have a dutch pile
Play football at da Kingsbury Bowl
Never let Bugsy cross our goal
At da one yard line we stop him cold
And we’re gonna have a dutch pile
Dutch pile…dutch pile
Ain’t had one in awhile
I like to drink beer and wrestle wit da boys
Now we’re gonna have a dutch pile
When da band stops playing people head for da door
Always got someone yellin’ “One more!”
Trow any Schnapper right down on da floor
And we’re gonna have a dutch pile
Dutch pile…dutch pile
Ain’t had one in awhile
I like to drink beer and wrestle wit da boys
Now we’re gonna have a dutch pile
Dutch pile…dutch pile
Ain’t had one in awhile
I like to drink beer and wrestle wit da boys
Now we’re gonna have a dutch pile
[For more songs by the Happy Schnapps Combo, see: http://www.happyschnappscombo.net/]